Emotional control: the mind game!


Is it Ironic that I'm now far from being emotionally overwhelmed and yet 've not lose my thoughtfulness. I'm conscious of my mistakes and the power it has over me when it occurs over and over again. Its crazy how I wish sometimes I am a thug with the fantasy of street life which has no business with decency and questioning of character. But here I am, trying to be what the world did not make provision for me to be, a generational solution provider. 'Said to me, even if you were not born to make it, you should. "........you are still precious.".

People call black white in the name of faith, but REALITY which the life of Tupac Amaru Shakur of blessed memory represent teaches me to call no spade a folk. Sometimes I wish I have his character and skills so that I can say more that can last longer than life's short time. But People are different, yet there are lotz of similarity in thoughts and feelings. The approach and manner of expression definitely differs.

Few years back, I wrote an unpublished song titled MEMORIES and a true/fiction story titled ROMANCE IN THE CEMETERY, inspired by the past, present and a possible transitional future. Shitz happens you know, being caught up in the middle and being an actor in the drama is the real shit. Lines in MEMORIES said "you made me lose faith in love, back to be a player again, I don't mean to do this but you showed me how. Love please forgive me, heart break its all your fault... "

Sometimes what creates a deep scar on people is not that others took a walk, but the time, manner and circumstances sorounding the gesture. Time changes things and people. It doesn't change history, but events writes new ones. Have I given up on the essence of time which I expressed in a song titled OJULOPESI? Have I lost my childhood dreamz? Have I let heart break turn me into a player? The question could be, should I? Or rather, can I? Yes I have kicked the ball several times after the memories expressed in my song, but some how, I play not to hurt anybody, but that we enjoy the game that takes 2. How ever, I aint balling to lose either, so I let playerz quit when they 've got no strenght to handle my weakness.

We all are human, we hurt people sometimes not because we want to, but because we have to do what has to be done, walk when we must. The difference is that, few feel sorry for people they hurt, many don't, as they even brag about it. Have you watch someone you are building a throne for in your life with absolute loyalty to what you both shared walk away? Hmm, then you should think twice before rolling the dice because every player loses sometimes.

Still in the game till the kind of play mate that will make one care less about winning or losing comes. Yea does it really matter. You jump I jump, hahahaaa! Make I Jump first? Lol! Don't mind me like seriously its a free style thing.... We balling till we pass out, yarning in the morning.... Trust me, love comes petching like a butterfly. Don't push it, don't chase it!

@treeze3ze
www.treezeonline.com
www.treezeonline.blogspot.com

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